The mantra for today is simple: I can't change what's happened, so I can only move forward.
Today I am wondering what to do with my maternity clothes. I bought a new winter wardrobe from a lady off Craigslist, because my maternity wardrobe for Olivia was all spring-summer. I had her on August 31, which meant carrying her through that last trimester through a hot, dusty Texas summer. I had one pair of flip-flops that still fit by the end of it. After I had her, I threw them away. It took years to get me into a new pair of flip-flops.
So I have these winter maternity clothes, barely worn, and I cannot stand to look at them. Even if I do get pregnant again, I am so superstitious that I am certain I would not wear them. On the other hand, I am so frugal that I can only think "Brand new clothes!" For the moment, they are sitting in a trash bag in the room that was going to be the nursery.
One of the first things I did was go through my closet and remove all of the maternity clothes. Then I threw away my pregnancy tea and prenatal vitamins. Then I went to a thrift store and bought bigger, non-maternity jeans so I would not have to wear maternity clothes any longer. I just didn't feel entitled to them.
I also have bags upon bags of baby clothes that I have saved for 5 years post-Olivia. They have just been sitting there collecting dust. Why did I save all this stuff? After all, Liv didn't even wear most of it. The onesies that got the most use were turned into dustrags years ago.
There's a clothes donation dumpster at the nearby gas station that benefits the local battered women's shelter. I've half a mind to load everything up in the trunk and take it there today. Make a fresh start. Move forward. Quit clinging to the past. After all, these clothes really don't bring me any joy.
What do you think? Should I donate, sell, or hang on to everything a bit longer?
I think a new beginning is probably what you need and your mind is already focused on healing, Sarah. I think whatever you decide you've already taken huge steps forward and I'm very proud of you and proud to call you friend. Your stregth of will is awe inspiring and Olivia is so lucky to have you as a good role model. Just keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other and you'll get to where you want to go. Good job and good luck.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree that a "new beginning" is in order here. I would maybe do a little research and see if there is somewhere you can donate the clothes (both the maternity and baby clothes) that would do the most good - Salvation Army or Battered Women's Shelter? I cannot fathom what you are going through - I can only guess - and those thoughts are that it is harder that anyone could ever imagine. I am hoping and praying that the love of your friends and family (and, of course Zach and Olivia) is what will sustain you through all of this.
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