Welcome to the Club

I miscarried my second child on September 18, 2011 at 9 weeks of pregnancy. Once I started telling others about it, I realized that miscarriage is a lot more common than I thought. It's kind of a secret club. And this is my attempt to understand it through blogging about it and talking to other members of The Club.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

5 Websites That Will Help You Stay On Track

After miscarriage, your body still goes through the same hormonal changes that you would had you delivered a child to term. And this transformation is made more difficult by the fact that you have just lost a child. So it's not at all uncommon for women to suffer from post-partum depression after having a miscarriage.

I had a terrible time with post-partum depression after Olivia's birth. When I was unable to successfully breastfeed, after several consultations with every expert known to womankind, I became suicidal. My OB/GYN, Dr. Kimberly Udell, was an absolute brick for me during that time. When I went in for one of my post-partum checkups, she insisted on me stopping all attempts to breastfeed at once. When I refused, she wrote her order down on a prescription notepad and forced it into my hand. Then, she wrote out another prescription--for lexapro, an anti-depressant. And finally, she got right into my face--I mean, like 2 inches away from me, and yelled "a mommy feeding formula is way better than no mommy at all! Olivia needs a mommy!" Meaning--don't kill yourself because you have to use formula. She literally saved my life that day.

When I knew I was going to miscarry, Dr. Udell and I agreed that I needed a prescription for lexapro without delay. It has helped ease the hormonal surges. I still feel pain and numbness but not in an overwhelming and hopeless way. If you are experiencing depression, I urge you to talk to a physician you trust. They can help you in ways that you cannot help yourself.

This blog is not meant to be a blog about medical advice. If you are suffering from depression--post-partum or otherwise--you need to seek professional help. But if you have trouble staying on track through depression, or need help pulling yourself out of the darkness, there are several websites out there that can help. And these websites can help no matter what you are going through. When I get depressed, there are three key areas of my life that suffer neglect: my home, my finances, and my personal appearance. These websites are great resources if you need help staying on track in these areas. And they are free, too!

Personal Appearance

Sparkpeople--This is a great free resource for losing weight or maintaining your current weight. It offers all the advantages of Weight Watchers and you don't have to pay a dime. You can customize your diet plan, track your calories and exercise, and get online exercise videos for free. There are also several support teams you can join if you need motivation. I joined Sparkpeople and lost about 30 pounds a few years ago.

You Look Fab--Geared toward women's fashion, this blog is a great resource for dressing well for your body type and for your age. Angie is a fashion stylist and has been helping clients for years. If you have a question, she will jump into the forums and offer personalized advice for free. She gave me great advice on what to wear to a book signing one year. And the forums are really positive and supportive too.

Finances

The Simple Dollar--Trent offers solid financial advice for people of all socioeconomic levels. He also lives what he preaches, which is refreshing. If you need help understanding the difference between a Roth IRA and a traditional IRA, this is the place to go.

Dave Ramsey--My husband and I completed Dave's Financial Peace University a year ago and it really changed our lives. FPU isn't free, but a lot of resources are available for free on Dave's website. You can also read his books for free by checking them out at your local library. If you have trouble keeping track of your bills, or have no idea how to draft a budget, Dave will walk you through it step by step.

Housekeeping

Flylady--I've been following the Flylady system of housekeeping since 2001. It really helped me because I am from a German background. If it were up to me, I would never STOP cleaning. Pre-Flylady, I would tear the house apart and really fret over cleaning the baseboards or something equally ridiculous, but wouldn't keep up with the weekly dusting. Her 15-minute principle and daily guides are really helpful for keeping me on track. I also like that she encourages people to start with one simple task--keeping your sink clean--before moving on to other housekeeping routines.

Basically, these sites provide you with a road map of what to do. If you are having trouble getting out of bed, or putting one foot in front of the other, these sites can really help you out. After my miscarriage was officially over, I told my husband, "I just need someone to tell me what to do." These sites can help you manage the basics until you feel well enough to really tackle the minutiae of life again.

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for these links! I am so going to use flylady. I am feeling so overwhelmed but my house and it stresses me out. I think I just need to do it in small steps. Great Blog Sarah! Keep up the great work.

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  2. Goodness, Sarah, I had no idea about your post-partum depression! I'm so sorry you went through that. But I'm so glad you had a doctor that was able to help you out of it. If it makes you feel any better, I wasn't able to breastfeed either, and Bella's just about the healthiest kid I've ever known :)

    Great websites, by the way - Flylady sounds great!

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