This week I had my blood drawn again to see if my beta levels had gone down enough. Anything above 4000 and I was a candidate for a D&C--even though technically I have already had the miscarriage. Well, for once, my body did something right. My beta levels were down to 600. No D&C. I have to say, I am thankful for that. I really wasn't looking forward to going to the hospital again. I have to go back in 2 weeks for another blood test, and my arms are so bruised and sore. Does anyone know a good cure for bruising? Just thought I would ask.
This week I had a very vivid celebrity dream. I have celebrity dreams a few times a month. Here's what you need to know about them: the celebrity is always someone who's passed, and usually someone from the 1920s-1940s. Given my work, that's not surprising. I have hung out with Paul Muni, Janet Gaynor, Charles Farrell, and Zelda Fitzgerald, to name a few. Billie Holiday came to sing to me once when I was sick. She touched my forehead, and I felt the imprint of her finger for a week.
This week's celebrity dream was weird because I hung out with Michael Jackson. Not someone from the Jazz Age. I remember he offered me a veil and I told him no thanks. Then we went to Kroger because he wanted a certain type of pasta salad. It was exhausting being part of his entourage. People crowded around us wherever we went.
In Kroger, a feral cat had gotten loose, and some snot-nosed teenager was dragging him out by the tail. Furious, I went up to the kid and yelled, "If I ever see you treat a cat like that again, I will kick your ass. Do you hear me?"
"No, say it again," he smirked.
"OK, let me put it this way. If I see you treat any animal in that way again, I will put my foot up your ass. And then I will turn it from side to side so my foot is actually f***ing your ass. Do you hear me now?"
And then I woke up. But I remember MJ was appalled at my language.
What does this dream mean? I don't know, but it felt empowering. Maybe Brandi Boyd can tell me. She began dream interpretation when we were in school together. Brandi, if you are reading this and you have a thought or two, leave it in the comments. :)
Oh, God, I don't know if there is any deeper meaning, but it sure made me laugh! I don't usually have celebrity dreams, but sometimes I have these weird dreams where I'm talking to John, but I know that it's really Joe, even if he looks like John. Very disconcerting... :)
ReplyDeleteSarah,
ReplyDeleteNice post. I've never had a celebrity dream. I have had a D&C for my second miscarriage. It was done in the doctor's office.
Marion
Before I get to the dream interpretation, I have some tips for the bruising from lots of blood tips. If you've already bruised, ice packs will help. If you have veins that are hard to get to (I do), here's a tip I picked up when I was getting blood transfusions every 6 weeks. Use a heating pad on the area of your arm where you will be stuck. The heat helps make the vessel rise to the surface and get larger. It makes it easier to get needles in and to get IVs started.
ReplyDeleteOkay on to the reason I was tagged! The dream. It's important to realize that grief is a very long process. Let's start with MJ. I would guess his presence in your dream is just a result of all the press his death is getting lately. Even if you aren't consciously paying attention, your subconscious has registered it. The veil is a symbol of grief. You have always been unconventional. And my guess is your subconscious wants to deal with grief in its own way. You don't want to wear black and weep all the time (that doesn't mean you won't do that, but you don't want to). Part of the grieving process is anger. But in your situation who do you get angry at? There isn't really anyone to blame. But that anger still exists. The dream felt empowering because it was allowing you to express your very real anger at someone. You are on an emotional roller coaster, and anger is one of those giant hills that you have to survive.
As always, I am not a professional. And a dream, is sometimes, just a dream.
Love you!!!!